I would be happy to watch paint dry as long as Marley was in my arms. She makes me happy in the purest sense of the word. She grounds me to a life of purpose and is the light at the end of my tunnel. What happened to me was terrible. Losing my person, Marley’s father, was the worst thing imaginable. I can remember crying, sobs thrashing through my body and hearing my mother begging my father to do something, anything to make me stop. It was at that point where I thought my life would never be happy again. Truth be told, I didn’t even want to be pregnant. I just wanted it all to go away – everything. All I wanted was Ryan.
Now I have my Marley and what a team we make. I love pushing her through the mall, even when she cries. I love when people stop us to gush over how adorable she is. It’s me and her against the world and even though it will never be totally complete without Ryan, life feels settled and to be honest, it feels complete. Marley completes me in a way I never thought possible. She is my everything. Being a mother is the greatest accomplishment of my life. Those of you who are, know, and those of you who aren’t, will never know until you know. Today I am happy to say…I feel lucky. Today I feel lucky and I feel happy.