The Sound of Silence

"My eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night and touched the sound of silence." -Paul Simon

I heard his voice tonight. 

After ten months, I heard his voice for the first time.  It was a simple voice message sent to a friend at 12:15 am the morning that he died.  "Don't listen to it tonight" was the advice given to me.  Yeah right.  I didn't cry, I didn't yell,, I didn't shout.  Instead I sat very quietly, as if making a sound would make his noise go away.  I listened to this message countless times, letting the sound permeate my mind and my soul.  I even rested the phone on my chest, thinking the vibration would bring him closer.  I'm okay.  I feel quiet and reflective.  The pain doesn't asphyxiate me anymore, but does lay heavy on my chest.  I wish I could breath freely, but irrationally, I feel it's wrong to completely open my lungs.  I need to find a way to breath free, need to keep working forward.  I'm glad I heard his voice today - a gentle reminder of what was and what is.

Simply stated, I miss him tonight and every minute of every day.  I didn't need to hear his voice to know this...