Center
Through quiet reflection I’ve been working on centering my inner self. I imagine my life working like a protractor where I choose the starting point and stretch my boundaries as far as I’d like. Once I’m comfortable with the distance, I make a concentric space where inside I have control of my decisions and can live my life the way I choose. This metaphor describes my need for power and the quest to reclaim my own life. It also shows my need for neatness and order. I’ve never been a controlling person, type A in my ambitions, but not my routines. I’m easy going, still in my sleep and relaxed in my day. This is all I want back for myself, this soft and happy lifestyle and what I spend every day focusing on regaining.
Strength
Strength comes from within and like adrenalin, promises to support you when you are in the greatest of need. It’s not necessary to ask or pray for strength, it’s just there, quietly waiting. Then, in your weakest, darkest hour, strength shows its face, picks you up, wraps you in a warm embrace and gently pushes you forward. This is a secret only a select will ever know. One is not expected to understand or believe the phenomenon until you are faced with a situation of utter need. Hopefully you will never need, but rest assured that if you do, strength will be there to pick up the pieces and move you forward. I know the secret, have held hands with the secret and can assure you that as the days pass, my inner strength, although temperamental, grows stronger and has proven to be unconditionally loyal.
Forward
I have to move forward, it’s the only choice I give myself. It was never an option to burry my head in the sand or to hide under my covers. There are plenty of moments where I fight what needs to be done, where I refuse to move from my spot, but in the bigger picture, when the moment passes, these tasks get accomplished and I continue my forward progress. Life goes on and I work to remind myself that life is not how it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way I cope with it is what makes the difference.
And finally, after a much needed vacation and some sun on my face I say:
Rise up this mornin’
Smiled with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and sure
This is my message to you
Don’t worry, about a ‘ting
‘Cuz every little ‘ting
Is going to be alright…
:-)
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