I’m crying as I write this, trying to see through a cover of tears. I’m not concerned with the flow of my words or the picture they paint. I just need to talk to you. I’m racked with emotions and need to crawl into the warm embrace of your lap. I need your arms wrapped tightly around me. I need your reassuring voice in my ear. I need you.
I needed you this afternoon. I’m pregnant and need to be taken care of. I was getting stomach cramps at the gym and they scared me. Their company didn’t last long and left me frightened and alone. Isolated in a room full of people who look at me and think everything is just fine. They see me as an endearing pregnant woman, trying to stay in shape, working out before going home to her loving husband. Little do they know I’m there to keep my sanity and that I go home to a house quiet and full of grief.
I need you Ry and can’t feel you anywhere. I miss your laugh, infectious and strong. I miss our life so full of laughter. I wonder how many times we laughed each day. Living without you has taken the laughter away and without it, I feel empty. How am I going to do this without you? Who will make me laugh? Who will take care of me? No one is here to tell me I’m beautiful, Ry. I keep swelling and no one is here to admire my shape, talk for the little person inside of me. I need you, love you and miss you. It hurts so bad, Ry…
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