Smile

“All I’ve got to do Today is Smile” –Paul Simon

Nothing feels better than smiling.  A smile can light up a room, warm a heart, change a face.  The life Ryan and I shared together was a flood of smiles.  I once heard him tell a friend that he liked me because I smiled at him and meant it.  When I called, his phone flashed “Kristin SMILE” and if you asked Ryan what he loved the most about his wife, he would tell you it was her smile.  Ironic really, because if you’d ask me what I loved most about my husband, I’d have told you it was his ability to make me smile.  This theme classified our relationship into a very special category – soulmates.  I don’t throw this word around often or with ease, but in this case, I mean it with every part of my being.  There are many people in this world that could fit as our soulmate, all we have to do is find them, respect them and love them.  It’s a mystery to me why more people can’t seem to achieve this, but I can confidently assert that Ryan and I had this simple puzzle figured out.

Ten years ago, Ryan found me and I never left his side.  We learned to respect our differences as well as our many similarities and very quickly, we learned how to love each other.  Throughout our relationship, we never left or hung up the phone without saying I love you.  Not out of habit, but because we meant it.  The last time I saw Ryan; I bent down, gave him a long kiss, touched his nose and told him I loved him.  Later that evening, we had what would be our last conversation.  Before we hung up, we admitted how much we missed each other and, as was our way, reminded ourselves that we loved each other more than pizza, beer, french-fries and wine.  Today I found a list I had recently slipped into Ryan’s backpack. 

          20 Things I Love

1.     You cook for me.

2.    Our Saturday morning showers.

3.    Resting my head on your chest.

4.    Our Blotter voice

5.    You can always talk me into taking a nap

6.    You sing silly made-up songs

7.    You make me laugh all the time.

8.    You’re always up for an adventure

9.    I’m the only one who knows you call it a blanky.

10. You enjoy all different kinds of food.

11. All of our silly memories.

12.  You listen to me whine and hardly ever get annoyed.

13. Your taste in music.

14. You’re always yourself, no matter what.

15. You take care of me.

16. Your long winded stories.

17. You hate coleslaw.

18. Our spontaneous trips.

19. That we have so much fun together no matter what.

20. I get to spend the rest of my life with you.

Reading this list made me remember something Ryan once wrote to me inside my travel journal.  It said:

      This is great.  I love the life I’m in.  I never thought I would feel this good next to one person.  We really know how to live, Kris.  This is a marriage that can conquer all!  I love you, Krissy so much!

                        “We’ll end up hand in hand, somewhere down on the sand

                        Just me and you

                        Just as free, free as we’ll ever be”

These words are powerful because they paint an accurate picture of the life Ryan and I shared; a life that centered on a very easy concept – smile.