The Wagon Ride

Lately my mind has felt empty, making it incapable for me to freely express my feelings.  Emotions have been running a marathon through my mind, body and heart, but nothing stays long enough to reflect on.  I miss my husband intensely and every day the yearning swells.  I want so badly to see him, or feel him, to hear him, but most of all, I want him to make me laugh.  He must have heard this wish because a moment ago I thought of a story that literally made me laugh out loud.  I remembered a story that highlights exactly who Ryan was and why he will always be the absolute love of my life.

  Last summer Ryan and I were making our annual pilgrimage to the lakefront to enjoy the Fourth of July fireworks.  I remember him being very concerned about how we were going to get all of our snacks and liquid refreshments down the big hill from Brady Street to the park.  At first he wanted to buy a cooler with wheels, but I told him no way, we already had four coolers in the basement, two of which were large enough for me to fit in with the cover closed (this was a test Ryan and I used to see how big our stuff was.  I could also fit inside two pieces of luggage and the laundry hamper).  In the end, he settled for borrowing a friend’s wagon.  He packed it tight, making sure to throw in some Bob Marley and his Frisbee.  As an afterthought, he threw in an extra six pack and one more bottle of wine.  “It’s going to be a long night, Kris…”

Parking was a breeze because Ryan and I knew all the secret spots.  As we walked through our old neighborhood, we reminisced about the adventures we used to have:  Drinking at The Coin, walking Blotter through the park, dollar pitcher night…I remember we were smiling and laughing, holding hands and pulling our wagon full of delicious treats.  We crossed the Brady Street Bridge and were just starting to make our way down the large hill when Ryan got a mischievous twinkle in his eye.  Swiftly, he had rearranged the contents of the wagon and had created a type of makeshift vehicle.  Before I had a chance to ask questions, he had fitted himself into the wagon and was pushing fast with his feet.  Rapidly he started barreling down the hill, steering haphazardly with the wagon handle.   I started after him, eyes blurred with tears from laughing uncontrollably.  I watched as he dodged pedestrians, shifting his body weight to make sharp turns.  The ride lasted only a few seconds before he arrived at the bottom of the hill with a slow and easy crash landing.  This was followed by him jumping up, arms spread in victory as the crowd literally went wild, clapping for his crazy antics.  The cherry on top was the fact that he had somehow situated his landing directly in front of the friends we were meeting - they saw the whole thing.  I finally caught up to him, clutching my stomach with laughter.  We high fived, kissed and busted into the cooler for a celebratory Miller Lite.  At that moment, I remember thinking, “This is why I love this man, there is no one funnier or more able to make me laugh”.